you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
And then he peed in my hair
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