he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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