You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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