i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
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