Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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