apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
