why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize