your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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