I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
You pole danced in your parka.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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