i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
