is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
