Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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