im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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