OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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