i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
