All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Randomize
