I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
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Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
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Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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