It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Randomize
