the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize
