I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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