so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
