sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
