I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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