drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
