As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
