would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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