I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize