i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
