You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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