i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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