theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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