hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
