so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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