I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize