Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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