I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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