just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
