just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
