I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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