So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
