The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
