okay pat passed out under dana's car
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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