Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
