I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
