is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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