You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
