First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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