Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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