And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
