Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
high people should be assigned attendants
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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