Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
