i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize