chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
COCAINE IS GR8
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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