brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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